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There are things that make you who you are, things you just cannot live without. Things that bring you joy, things that make you a better person. And as time goes by, the dependency on these things grow.
I don’t like being dependent. Not this much anyways.
It’s not just a matter of being overly reliant, that the withdrawal symptoms appear whenever these things disappear. It’s just not that simple anymore. The dependence’s grown to an extent where I’ve lost myself in it, or rather I’ve lost myself TO it. It’s dangerous to lose control over yourself. Every little thing counts, and every little thing can change how you feel, how you act, how you behave.
I hate being so reliant and so affected, yet I can’t help but to be so damn addicted. I need this reliance. I really do. But it leaves me vulnerable. I hate vulnerability. I hate vulnerability and I hate it that I hate it. I hate this i hate this i hate this.
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