As the title suggests, these are the songs that still get me depressed and leave me feeling empty

1. Lucky – Jason Mraz feat. Colbie caillat

2. Hot and Cold – Katy Perry

3. If it Kills Me – Jason Mraz

4. A Beautiful Mess – Jason Mraz

5. Happy Ending – Mika

6. Not Meant to Be – Theory of a Dead Man

Somehow, i realise most of them are songs by Jason lol. And Lucky gets me into hell of a sullen mood even if i hear only a small part of the song.

” I can’t give you what you want and it’s killing me, and I’m starting to realise maybe we’re not meant to be “

- Not Meant To Be

After typing a whole long long paragraph of what happened today, ( Big Walk ) i realise that its pointless. What’s the point of broadcasting to the world what they alr know? So, i deleted 206 words from this post. what a waste of time.

yawns. 1:06 A.M. I’m exhausted. Hols are comin to an end thank god. Having nothing to do at home,only makes a person ponder over stuff that won’t do one any good at all.

hah. class list is finally out. i find it immensely amusing, after seeing this list, everyone goes hyper lol

“oh no, he’s in my class”, “damn why’d i gotta be in the same class as her”, all these kinda dialogue pop up. its fun observing all this commotion from afar haha. although im part of it too..somehow i just dont feel affected=.=

This incredible list turns peaceful holidays into utter chaos huh haha. ok a bit dramatic ill admit but u get the point. thing is, this commotion is rather pointless innit. At the start of the year, u say u hate the ppl in ur class. end of first year together, ure ok with thm. end of second yr, you’ll love thm so much u dont wanna part with thm. so what’s the point in hating thm in the first place? Start of last year, when i first got to know i was entering 4G, i swore i was gna work my way outta tht class. Half a year later, i find myself unwilling to part with the guys haha.

已经过了几个月了，我也终于要update我的blog了。 对不起大家，让你们久等了。。

不过，今天的post也不是个快乐的。

最近，发现到真正的朋友少了许多。

有些我认为是朋友的人，并不认为我也是他们的朋友。。

Sigh大家都有自己的秘密，得确，我没资格要求你们告诉我你们的私人生活，不信任我的你们，也不需要告诉我。 对不起，我从今以后也不会再问了，也不会再追求，也不会再关心别人的事了。也许是我太过鸡婆，也许是我曾经想更深一层的了解你们，也或许是我觉得孤独，觉得寂寞，想要多知道些事情想要成为你们的垃圾桶，听听你们心里的事。可是，大家都不肯说，那我也没必要去追查，追问了吧。 是的，我得确实太鸡婆了。

其实，交太多朋友也很累。。大多数的朋友只是一个自己所认识的人，初次见面的人也被称为“朋友”。这是怎么搞的啊。真正的朋友，我真的不多。要算的话，都不必用到两只手上的十只手指吧。我很累，交了这么多的“朋友”，有时候也会感到十分麻烦。 怕得罪他们，怕失去他们，也怕他们会不喜欢我。 咳，真的有必要操这么多心吗？ 有时，没有朋友也未必是件坏事。 自己一个人生活，真的有大家所说的那么恐怖吗？剩下自己，真的真的无法走到尾吗？我已经累垮了，真的不想要操这么多无畏的心。现在，我也不会再管大家怎么想，只会为那不到十个的朋友而操心。其他人，我也不会再管你们的感受了。我要怎么做，就怎么做。

第一次打了这么多华文字，自己看了也有点惊讶。。

咳。 我真的很想什么都不管，就我行我素，别人批评我也不管。可是，大家如果看到我突然改变对他们的态度，可能会恨我，可能还把我和那个臭肥仔说成是同一种类的人。这我就在意了。 不过，都到这地步了，我也不太管了。大家要说就说吧。要说我PJ也好，要说我PangsehKing也好，要说我trotters也好，我也不在意了。

我觉得人很奇怪，老是说要take control of your own life，可是到底有几个人是真正做到的? 交了朋友，生活不还是围绕着他们转？要买什么生日礼物给他们，要怎么让他们喜欢你，要怎么成为他们所信任的伙伴？长大了，出去工作了，还不是为了家人赚钱，为了买新衣服来impress某些人，为了让大家尊重你？交女朋友时就更是糟糕。一切的东西都围绕他们转，约会，礼物，甜言蜜语，咳。这是哪一门的taking control of your own life呢? 我们生活,的确是为了他人，而不是为了自己。真是可笑，我们何时何日成为了这么可悲的东西啊。没了他人来陪伴，我们就无法生存了吗？我真是搞不懂。

我现在终于理解何老师为什么能写这么长的post了。其实也蛮有趣的，用中文来写blog。用英语的话，有些感受，真的无法表达出来。想一想，这还是我有史以来写过最最最长的一个post,也很有可能是我写过最长的一篇短文。写了这么多，我发现心上还有许多还没说的话，许多还没有机会表达的想法，的意见，不过，我想读者也看腻了吧，如果是我，看一个人罗罗嗦嗦一直不停地说，我也会sian。。今天，就到此为止吧。

P.S. Katie, if you’re having trouble reading this, i suggest u brush up on ur mandarin haha..

I miss having no worries. I miss having nothing to do. I miss having all the time in the world.

Life would be a bore without anything interesting happening. A life without drama isn’t a life, is it.

But, a life filled with melancholy isn’t that bad either right? Nothing bad turns up, life just repeats itself day after day. You grumble while waking up, eyes half closed while brushing your teeth, you miss the true taste of ur breakfast as u gobble it down, going to the bus stop waiting for the bus that never seems to come until the very last minute…

Its only when your life gets too dramatic that you notice these tiny details you’ve missed, and i miss that kind of life.. Right now, there’s just too many things to worry about. I guess this is the reason why i’m such a lazybum. I hate doing stuff. Hate rushing around, hate having to do what others tell me to, hate having things to do actually..

Thinking back, I’ve never really had a day that was ideal.. There has never been a day when i could go out with maybe just one person and sit in a park on a bench, saying nothing and just listening to the birds in the trees and the leaves rustling, watching the clouds float by.. There hasn’t been a person who’d do that with me either i guess. Everyone’s too..psyched bout stuff. And when people get quiet, they’re deemed “emo”. There’s not a single person I know that would enjoy silence or watch everyday pass. Even the people reading this post would be reading quickly through it, and not really absorb every word here. Its a world that’s always on fast forward huh.

Youth is definitely wasted on the young. I can feel it already, guess im just a tad bit older than my actual age haha. Kids.. They’ve got all the time in the world.. If only I’ve got that kinda time hehe..

You know how some people hate the rain? Well, I’m kinda the exact opposite. Everybody’s rushing out of the rain, yet nobody actually bothers standing in it and feeling every drop of water that hits your skin. Well, actually there’s someone haha.. I promised her I’d go walking in  the rain with her someday. She loves the rain too, though i doubt we have the same reason.. The sound of rain hitting the ground.. I could listen to it all day and still find a different rhythm to the splashes.  Then the cold after my clothes are soaked and sticking to my skin, I won’t say I like it but it just feels.. Its just a feeling. And not a bad one at that haha. Ok I dont think I’m making much sense to you guys who are reading this right now.

And, I don’t seem like myself do I..? Well, this is the real me deep down inside I guess.. I love to take it slow. I’m perpetually pretending to be someone high and a little crazy at times when I’m around other people, but then, this is the me when I’m alone and I pretend for no one. I lie on the hill my house is on and look at the clouds float by. I walk slowly when I’m alone just to enjoy every step. I realise, I’m kinda weird huh haha..

Yesterday was damn fun! Went out with 4G from 10 plus am to 9 plus pm!

Ok Felix, Nicky, WanWen, Melvin and I met up at tiong to have breakfast. Intended on having mac breakfast one but wait for some ppl hor wait till breakfast over le they still havent come. Never say who la hor WanWen never say who

Had toast box for breakfast in the end and took a picture of melvin and nicky kissing a thick toast with lots of floss on top haha

The layer of floss damn thick!

 Took MRT to Queenstown station after that to take bus to CCAB. Met up with LiQin at the station and took bus together haha. The bus ride damn long! But Felix was entertaining me with his psp game so it was not at all boring hehe.

When we arrived, we expected to see the tennis court covered with tennis balls. Oh wait, I forgot to mention our reason for going there=.= We went there to collect tennis balls, part of our class project haha. And that swine ZF told us there was gonna be “至少一百粒球。满地都是的！” So much for trusting Zhu lao da lol. We collected about 20 or so in the first half of the day and started playing our own improvised game while waiting for the others. Pics available on LiQin’s blog ( i lazy upload pics lah take damn long. Wait till I learn how to use photobucket then upload kays? haha )

Went to Bukit timah shopping centre for lunch ( or rather snacks ) and went to play pool! Hell yea i love pool and it turns out, Ben Wan quite pro! Haha lose to him leh sianzz but its cos left white ball then i feed him free ball lah=.= But still, its an undeniable defeat. Nvm, next time sure trash u haha.

Played for 4 hours I think. Went to beauty world da3 bao1 food go back CCAB to do second round of ball collection. By then, aboout two-thirds the number of ppl were left. Lets see, there was Felix, Melvin, Vanessa, Liqin, Wanwen, Weichen, CheeHow, Weihao, JunMin, ermerm..HAVE I MISSED OUT ANYONE?!?! oh yea me=.=

So we had dinner at the grandstand ( again, go to Liqin’s blog for pics :p ). Then we set off on our second round of ball hunting hehe. Felix and I went around the area to look for balls and erm..kinda stealing some too from under fences hehe. We then searched the drains for a second time, and he noticed a ball stuck in the ground. So, we took a plastic bag and strted digging. Liqin says we look like 拔萝卜ing haha.

After a long period of digging, we finally got it out. But it had a big hole so we had to throw it away. We jumped across this big drain haha then ran back to join the others. We had collected a total of 40+ tennis balls hahah!

Liqin’s shoe then spoilt. The front part came off and we had no way to fix it. Felix then miraculously found a roll of tape and we taped it back together hehe. Wanwen then switched shoes with Liqin so in the end become she wear the “mended” shoe haha.

Then me and Melvin hitched a ride to tiong on WanWen’s car haha. Thnx agn newnaw! 

I LOVE 4G!!!!!

Omg cant wait till next outing! I think we become most bonded class alr lo heehee.

Exams are over already haha though i don’t think the hard work will pay off this time. Sigh ah what the hell, I’ll enjoy myself for now

However, I am constantly falling asleep in school le! Damn sleepy can and during geog lesson his voice like hypnotism liddat grah. ” The answers are all in the asssignments I gave you… ” . Sigh. He’s a nice teacher and all but seriously, very sleep-inducing can haha.

Went to West mall after school today and couldn’t decide what to eat. As usual. And so, we played open numbers to see where we’d eat. Seems we’re using that to decide a lot of stuff these days haha and we decided ( or in fact the game decided ) for us to go eat at Burger King. When we almost finish that time, Felix found a piece of the fries that tasted extremely..weird. Then we go exchange a new pack of fries just because we didn’t find one fry satisfactory haha. Cant belive they actually gave us one new pack hahaha WE OWN MAN!

After that walked to CSC to play BOWLING!!!!!! Omg very long never play le but still quite ok haha got first place over all! BUT LOST TO NACHEW AGN. Sigh and lost to liqin at the end grah emo ah hahahahah but ah well. overall champ’s enough hehe. Go to LiQin’s blog for the results haha. And i play till puo4 chan3. And all because that Dave owe me my MARNEYYYYY!!! 20Bucks leh! So long still haven’t return. Next time dun lend him liao lol. Hmm come to think of it, today was really pretty fun! Haha i wanna play bowling again soon. And pool. And badminton. OHYA THIS SUNDAY GOING PLAY!  Yay hehe.

Went home after that. Took train to Joo Koon first cos JE damn crowded and me and felix wanted to sit. And also Liqin live at pioneer ma so can also accompany her a bit haha.

This saturday going for class outing going to CCAB to collect tennis balls haha. Need get 100 leh must hit target. JY everyone! The hunt for balls begins!

LiQin! this sunday bring camera! I WANT TAKE PICS!!!!!!! haha ok I realise I’m damn high now heehee

It kind of hurts when the, kind of words u say, kind of turn themselves into blades   -   A beautiful mess

You,
Doin’ that thing you do,
Breaking my heart into a million pieces,
Like you always do
And you,
Don’t mean to be cruel,
You never even knew about the heartache,
I’ve been going through
Well I try and try to forget you girl,
But it’s just so hard to do,
Every time you do that thing you do
_____________________________________

Now this happens to sound like a happy song but the lyyrics are just downright sad. Just as I am.

Ok so here’s the deal.

After school, WeiChen, WanWen, Weihao, LiQin, CheeHow and I Chiong all the way to VivoCity to get our free Ben n’ Jerry’s Ice Cream!!! Along the way at the underpass to Vivo, ran past some St. Theresa’s girls then i dropped my bottle lol. Then one of them go shout,” WA! SO HILARIOUS! ” Lol. Who were they to pi1 ping2 me lah. So I turned around, shouted,” HAHA!!!!!” and they shut up lol. Stupid snobby girls tryna act all high and mighty.

Ah well, then we had to let WanWen take us there, seems she knew the shortest route possible haha. Ran like in amazing race liddat, and WANWEN RUN VERY FUNNY! She like those..haha ok no comments later she kill me hehe XD.

Well we reached the queue, and it extended like until the playground! Damn long lah can. But still, It was worth it haha. The ice cream friggin nice can! hahaha!

Went to harborfront eat mac after tht. And we started talking bout breasts lol. Seems its a pretty interesting topic haha. Then we started talking bout Lily and her huge…profile haha.

Overall, today had been extremely fun although i had to pon my tuition=.=

I LOVE BEN AND JERRY”S!!!!!!

Melvin. It’s all your fault. WHY THE HELL DID U HAVE TO GET YOUR HAIR CUT AT STUPID NEW NADA?!

For all of you who don’t know, New Nada is a barber shop run by malays in tiong bahru plaza. Emphasis on the Malays pls.

So, the day that Melvin came back with his new haircut, we were screwed by the ever so scary Mrs Lee. Of course, she had every right to punish us and stuff, but I thought we’d make it through without being noticed.

Mrs Lee made us pack our bags, carry our chairs outside, and sit along the corridor. Me, Melvin, and Benjamin. We sat there like 3 emo boys, looking into the rain, the sky all gray, and we just sat there and talked haha. Much more fun than in class. We missed out on a lot of stuff though, but that’s all right haha considering the amount of fun we had.

That was yesterday. This is a runthrough of what happened today.

We had geog lesson that went pretty well, nothing much happened. But when the next lesson came, that’s when the day turned into hell.

We went to the physics lab for practical and guess what. The three of us were sent out again. And she wanted us to complete 10 times corrections for two assignments. which adds up to around a hundred pages=.= I only finished 3 sets after school lol.

Then after recess, we had lang arts lesson. As usual, its plenty fun haha. I love Mr. Hor! haha. Problem came AFTER his lesson. When he left the class, I went to the toilet. When I came back, I found my self and Melvin and Nicholas locked out of the room. Seems we were a little too late for Mr. Ng’s class lol. So we ended up outside for bout a half hour. He let us in after that haha:P worse thing is, Philemon begged Mr. Ng to let us in. I think he thinks I’m is buddy now=.= Good lord please save me.

Then we stayed back till bout 6 plus doing the corrections. Blasted music over the speakers in class and went crazy for a while haha. Then went to look for Ming Liang and Sucram cos they locked up the classrooms. Played some piano in the hall. Turns out, Benjamin real pro haha. He taking grade 8 while i only taking grade 7=.= eveytime lose him a little bit de lo haish.

Went to bus stop with a big group of ppl. And we waited and waited and waited for 1 hour before 51 came. Damn the driver. After that, went out to dinner at BK with melvin sucram mingliang haha. And there was like a tournament thingy held at BK lol. Some card game I think. Dont recognise the game though haha.

Hmm..the day doesnt sound that bad after writing it all out haha. Ok gonna post some pics hehe. Very long never post pics le. These were taken at queensway yesterday haha.

Haha group pic!!

End of super long post haha.

And as the title of this post has suggested, its a request by a certain little girl in my dear old class by the name of WanWen. Well here’s how it goes: My birthday, over for quite some time already, had come and i wrote a post on that very very very special day

Now WanWen wasn’t very pleased by me not talking bout her much, and thus, this post haha. NewNaw, I just crapped..lets see..77 words muahaha.

Ok back to my presents haha. I got a veeeeery belated, yet sweet ( literally ), and veryveryvery thoughtful ( ok maybe wrong choice of words but ah, what the hell eh? ) birthday present haha. Guess what. They got me

A.

Whole.

Tin.

Of.

Chocolate.

Thingys. ( Take note. The author of this post does not know what the “thingys” are called. )

Haha and its homemade somemore. friggin delish can. And the wishes they gave me on the tin cover were sosososo sweet, especially WANWEN’s wishes ( nah i mention u a lot a lot le hohrx haha. Biased towards u somemore can. ) and Liqin’s wishes and Weichen+Vanessa+ChingYee’s wishes and JiaLing’s wishes ( ya lah your wishes last then best lah kaykay? haha ) and of course, Melvin’s wishes haha. Weihao, dont think I forgot you hohrx, Your wish I took most serious de lo! Got share with you leh haha.

And wa I damn emo lah can that day when Melvin went to Liqin house to make the chocolate thingys I ask him go watch Shinjuku Incident with me then he say he dun feel like going ( when in fact he’s making my present ) and i sorta not really scolded him :p SORRY!

And did I mention that the chocolate thingys were really delish? hahaha

Thnx guys you’re the best! That day receive didnt really say thank you ( I’m not really good at saying thankyous face to face ) so here’s a huge THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

And dont worry lah LiQin I wont use the lid as a frisbee anymore haha. The tin I keep damn properly le lo now hee.

Omg I’m still damn touched you all went through all the trouble to make my present. I LOVE YOU ALL! luvluvluvluvluv <3

haha ok NewNaw I think that fulfills your quota of 500 words le ba. Thnx agn! ( WanWen dont hit me in school le hohrx! haha )